Since he was a captive audience in my beat up Cavalier, I told him my story for this project. He seemed to like the story overall, but his concern was with the hero having the map on his cell phone. Now I thought since cell phones are so common, that it made sense for the hero to have a copy of the map on his phone. But Wilbert pointed out that anyone can put any kind of art on a phone, and could be confused with a video game, or some other contrived piece of art. Long story short, the hero should have a real map.
At first I was resistant, a bit. But now it makes sense since information is so cheap, so available, and can be manipulated in so many way, having an authentic, one of a kind treasure map gives the story more credibility. Credibility is Wilbert's focal point: If a story has no credibility, no matter what leap of faith it requires, then it's not going to work.
Wilbert also suggested a much more clearer, and super magical climax. And think about the hero's back story. How did he get the map? I jotted this all down, and crashed for the night.
Then, this morning, I pulled out my copy of "The Goonies" to see how those darn kids found their map. Of course, they find it in a forbidden attic. They enter when they feel like they've got nothing left to lose. I'm trying to keep the story simple, so I don't have time to reveal how the hero found the map. My joke is the intentional mis-direction of the hero thinking he's going to find a conventional treasure of gold and jewels, but gets something better instead: a reconnection with nature.
(Art copyright Warner Bros./Amblin Entertainment)
Wilbert also pointed out that the story is mostly clear in my mind, and I can gloss over the story points that don't work. But I have to make it clear to my audience. And to top it off, Wilbert mentioned that wilderness existed long before big cities. That's another assumption I took for granted. That's why the map has to be ancient. It would be a treasure in itself. Oops! Unless Mankind has become out of touch so much that a map like that would be overlooked.
The whole point is living in a modern, unhappy city that's squatting on Nature. And we need to take that weight off it a.s.a.p.
Let's hear it for Sloth: "Hey you guys!"
